The Journal of a Disappointed Man

When the sun grew too hot we went into the wood where waves of Bluebells dashed up around the foot of the Oak in front of us.... I never knew before, the delight of offering oneself up--an oblation of one's whole being; I even longed for some self-sacrifice, to have to give up something for her sake. It intoxicated me to think I was making another happy.... After a lunch of scrambled eggs and rhubarb and cream went up into the Beech Wood again and sat on a rug at the foot of a tree. The sun filtered in thro' the greenery casting a "dim, religious light." "It's like a cathedral," I chattered away, "stained glass windows, pillars, aisles--all complete." "It would be nice to be married in a Cathedral like this," she said. "At C---- Hall Cathedral, by the Rev. Canon Beech...." "Sir Henry Wood was the organist." "Yes," she said, "and the Rev. Blackbird the precentor." We laughed over our silliness! Shrew-mice pattered over the dead leaves and one came boldly into view under a bramble bush--she had never seen one before. Overhead, a ribald fellow of a Blackbird whistled a jaunty tune. E---- laughed. "I am sure that Blackbird is laughing at us," she said. "It makes me feel quite hot." This evening we sat on the slope of a big field where by lowering our eyes we could see the sun setting behind the grass blades--a very pretty sight which I do not remember ever to have noted before. A large blue Carabus beetle was stumbling about, Culvers cooed in the woods near by. It was delightful to be up 600 feet on a grassy field under the shadow of a large wood at sunset with my darling.