The Journal of a Disappointed Man

PART III: MARRIAGE Zeppelin raid and influenza, 222 Living in the country, 223, 227, 228 Reads his doctor's certificate after visit to recruiting-office, 225, 238 Self-disgust, 223, 224, 225, 247, 250 (nude), 267 Mental agony, 226, 227 Conversations: with R., 229 with Scarabees, 230, 239, 243 Halcyon days, 233, 235, 238 A natural idiot climbs a stile on uplands, 240 Tension, 250, 252 The War, 237 (Jutland), 242, 247, 248, 249 Another nervous breakdown, 253 How E. knew all the time, 255, 256 Self-compassion, 251, 304 Home ill, 257 ("in the doldrums"), 259, 265 Returns to work, 278 Ill again, 285 From an invalid's view-point, 292, 293 (by his bedroom window) Post-mortem affairs, 291 Resigns appointment, 294, 299 Self-consciousness and self-dramatization, 255, 265, 267 A badly articulated skeleton, 274 Cold weather in January, 276, 277, 278 On Death, 275, 283, 286, 291 His phosphorescent Journals, 291 Morphia and laudanum, 280, 300 Great misery, 303, 305