The Royal Mail: Its Curiosities and Romance

A person telegraphed to a friend to "take two stalls at the Haymarket," but the message conveyed directions to secure "two stables at the Haymarket." In another telegram, the intimation, "mother is no worse," was changed to "mother is no more." Again, "You will be glad to hear that your sister has accepted an engagement with your father's approval," was rendered, "that your sister has accepted an engagement with your father's apostle." In another case a plain business message, thus--"Come to me as early as you can, that we may arrange Wednesday," was given a matrimonial turn by being delivered as, "that we may arrange wedding." The next case is one in which a hungry man would doubtless be made an angry man in consequence of the mistake which occurred. His message, which was written thus,--"Shall arrive by train to-morrow morning; provide a good supply of bread, butter, eggs, milk, and potatoes,"--was delivered as "provide a good supper of bread," &c. In another instance the notice that "Mr ---- will come to-night with me at 7 to tea," was rendered, "Mr ---- will come to-night with me, get 7 to tea;" the only argument in favour of the mistake being "the more the merrier." Then, on another occasion, a telegram sent by a person in the country to "Madame ----, Costumier," at an address in London, conveying an order for a fancy dress, was presented to the maker of costumes as "Madame ----, Costermonger." In a telegram directed to "----, M.P., House of Commons," the address somehow got changed to "----, M.P., House of Correction;" but the member not being found there, the clerks at the delivering office suggested that it should be tried at the "House of Detention,"--a not unlikely place for successful delivery of such a message as things were at the time.