Zuleika Dobson; Or, An Oxford Love Story
Sir Max Beerbohm110Mr. Oover, during his year of residence, had been sorely tried by the quaint old English custom of not making public speeches after private dinners. It was with a deep sigh of satisfaction that he now rose to his feet. “Duke,” he said in a low voice, which yet penetrated to every corner of the room, “I guess I am voicing these gentlemen when I say that your words show up your good heart, all the time. Your mentality, too, is bully, as we all predicate. One may say without exaggeration that your scholarly and social attainments are a by-word throughout the solar system, and be-yond. We rightly venerate you as our boss. Sir, we worship the ground you walk on. But we owe a duty to our own free and independent manhood. Sir, we worship the ground Miss Z. Dobson treads on. We have pegged out a claim right there. And from that location we aren’t to be budged--not for bob-nuts. We asseverate we squat--where--we--squat, come--what--will. You say we have no chance to win Miss Z. Dobson. That--we--know. We aren’t worthy. We lie prone. Let her walk over us. You say her heart is cold. We don’t pro-fess we can take the chill off. But, Sir, we can’t be diverted out of loving her--not even by you, Sir. No, Sir! We love her, and--shall, and--will, Sir, with--our--latest breath.” This peroration evoked loud applause. “I love her, and shall, and will,” shouted each man. And again they honoured in wine her image. Sir John Marraby uttered a cry familiar in the hunting-field. The MacQuern contributed a few bars of a sentimental ballad in the dialect of his country. “Hurrah, hurrah!” shouted Mr. Trent-Garby. Lord Sayes hummed the latest waltz, waving his arms to its rhythm, while the wine he had just spilt on his shirt-front trickled unheeded to his waistcoat. Mr. Oover gave the Yale cheer.

