Zuleika Dobson; Or, An Oxford Love Story
Sir Max Beerbohm157He ought, therefore, to have been in bed and asleep two hours ago. And the offence of his vigil was aggravated by a large tumbler that stood in front of him, containing whisky and soda. From this he took a deep draught. Then he read over what he had written. I did not care to peer over his shoulder at MS. which, though written in my room, was not intended for my eyes. But the writer’s brain was open to me; and he had written “I, the undersigned Edward Joseph Craddock, do hereby leave and bequeath all my personal and other property to Zuleika Dobson, spinster. This is my last will and testament.” He gnawed his pen, and presently altered the “hereby leave” to “hereby and herewith leave.” Fool! I thereby and therewith left him. As I emerged through the floor of the room above--through the very carpet that had so often been steeped in wine, and encrusted with smithereens of glass, in the brave old days of a well-remembered occupant--I found two men, both of them evidently reading-men. One of them was pacing round the room. “Do you know,” he was saying, “what she reminded me of, all the time? Those words--aren’t they in the Song of Solomon?--‘fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and... and...’” “‘Terrible as an army with banners,’” supplied his host--rather testily, for he was writing a letter. It began “My dear Father. By the time you receive this I shall have taken a step which...”

