Perfect Behavior: A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in All Social Crises

THE BRIDE’S TEA The first function of the pre-nuptial festivities is generally a tea at the bride’s home, where the ushers and bridesmaids meet to become “acquainted.” It is your duty, as best man, to go to the hotel where the ushers are stopping and bring them to this tea. Just as you will leave on this mission the groom will whisper in your ear, “For God’s sake, remember to tell them that her father and mother are terribly opposed to drinking in any form.” This is an awfully good joke on her father and mother. As you step out of the hotel elevator you hear at the end of the hall a chorus shouting, “Mademoiselle from Armentières— parlez vous!” Those are your ushers. Opening the door of the room you step forward and announce, “Fellows, we have got to go to a tea right away. Come on— let’s go.” At this, ten young men in cutaways will stand up and shout, “Yeaaa— the best man— give the best man a drink!” From then on, at twelve minute intervals, it is your duty to say, “Fellows, we have got to go to a tea right away. Come on— let’s go.” Each time you will be handed another drink, which you may take with either your right or left hand. After an hour the telephone will ring. It will be the groom. He will say, “Everybody is waiting for you and the ushers,” to which you reply, “We are just leaving.” He then says, “And don’t forget to tell them what I told you about her father and mother.”