Perfect Behavior: A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in All Social Crises

After you have seated yourself and the train has started the lady’s little boy will announce, “I want a drink, Mama.” After he has repeated this eleven times his mother will say to you “I wonder if you would mind holding the baby while I take Elmer to get a drink?” The etiquette of holding babies is somewhat difficult for bachelors to master at first as there are no hard and fast rules governing conduct under these circumstances. An easy “hold” for beginners and one which is difficult for the ordinary baby to break consists in wrapping the left and right arms firmly around the center of the child, at the same time clutching the clothing with the right hand and the toes with the left and praying to God that the damn thing won’t drop.