Perfect Behavior: A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in All Social Crises

This bid is not “raised.” Mrs. Dollings then says to you, “I am counting on your spades to help me out,” at which you look at the only spade in your hand (the three) and answer, “Ha! Ha! Ha!” There is then a wait of four minutes, at the end of which Mrs. Dollings wearily says, “It is your first lead, is it not, Mrs. Watts?” Mrs. Watts then blushes, says, “Oh, I beg your pardon!” and leads the four of hearts. You then lay down your “dummy” hand. Before Mrs. Dollings has had time to discover just what you have done to her, you should rise quickly and say, “Excuse me, but I want to use the telephone a minute.” You should then go into the next room and wait ten or fifteen minutes. When you return Mrs. Dollings will have disappeared, Mrs. Watts will be looking fixedly at Mr. Watts, and Mr. Watts will be saying, “Well, it’s a silly game, anyway.” You and Mr. and Mrs. Watts can then have a nice game of twenty-five cent limit stud poker for the rest of the evening, and it would certainly be considered a thoughtful and gracious “gesture” if, during the next two or three weeks, you should call occasionally at the hospital to see how Mrs. Dollings is “getting on,” or you might even send some flowers or a nice potted plant.